I had a recording of an AA speaker, years ago, that I got at one of those "Motivational Speaker" type of events. Of course, I don't remember his name, but many parts of his speech stuck with me. I haven't always followed his advice to a tee, but the general impressions still linger.
He spoke of a time, about 5 yrs. into his sobriety, when he felt kind of "stuck". He had worked his AA program with zeal and ambition, yet it was kind of like the chain fell off the bike, and he was peddling, but going no where. This is one of his stories.
He said that his life was like walking down a path, and coming to a wall... right there in the middle of the path. He looked right and left and saw nothing. There was no way to tell how to get past the wall. He could try to climb over, but it was too high. He could try to dig under, but it was too deep. Being the good, dysfunctional Alcoholic that he was, he just stood there... looking at the wall, doing nothing. The only options were to turn right or left and try to keep going... but which way ?
I've been standing in front of that wall for about a month, now. I have NO IDEA which way to turn. I'm just staring at the wall ! (Duh, Um, What). The moral to HIS story was that we all come to these walls in our lives. What do we choose to do. Our "Will" is to believe that WE know best, turn and go. That usually doesn't work for the alcoholic... after all, it was OUR will that got us here. I need to close my eyes, stretch out my arms and ask God "Which Way", and trust (hard for me) that the right path will make itself clear.
Till then, I'm here, at the wall, waiting patiently for that guidance.
He spoke of a time, about 5 yrs. into his sobriety, when he felt kind of "stuck". He had worked his AA program with zeal and ambition, yet it was kind of like the chain fell off the bike, and he was peddling, but going no where. This is one of his stories.
He said that his life was like walking down a path, and coming to a wall... right there in the middle of the path. He looked right and left and saw nothing. There was no way to tell how to get past the wall. He could try to climb over, but it was too high. He could try to dig under, but it was too deep. Being the good, dysfunctional Alcoholic that he was, he just stood there... looking at the wall, doing nothing. The only options were to turn right or left and try to keep going... but which way ?
I've been standing in front of that wall for about a month, now. I have NO IDEA which way to turn. I'm just staring at the wall ! (Duh, Um, What). The moral to HIS story was that we all come to these walls in our lives. What do we choose to do. Our "Will" is to believe that WE know best, turn and go. That usually doesn't work for the alcoholic... after all, it was OUR will that got us here. I need to close my eyes, stretch out my arms and ask God "Which Way", and trust (hard for me) that the right path will make itself clear.
Till then, I'm here, at the wall, waiting patiently for that guidance.
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