ROAD BLOCK !

To use a phrase coined by the singers "Garfunkle & Oates", "things have taken a Turn for the Douche". This has upset me more than probably anything in the last 4 years of Sobriety. Worse than finding out that I may be Diabetic. Worse than not making the Liver Transplant List. One of the Constants in my ever-changing struggle for Sobriety is GONE !

MY Doctor, Dr. "R", the person whom I have trusted, confided in, relied on for strength and support. MY Doctor, who would greet me with a Hug and send me off with a Hug and an "I Love You". MY Doctor, who said that if I started drinking again and Died, she would revive me so SHE could Kill Me ! MY Doctor, who said that I was one of her Best Success Stories, slipped quietly out of the VA Primary Care System, never to be heard from again.

I don't intend to take this lightly. I owe her my Life... and I never got to say Good-bye and Thank You. Sure, I've told her how I felt about her and thanked her many times. This is different. I can let her go. I understand that jobs come and go. She was horribly over-worked at the Henderson VA because she was so good at what she did. I'm not the only one who will be devastated by her leaving. That doesn't make it any less real for me. I will do my best to find her, to thank her and have "proper closure". I need that for ME.

Greetings, Travelers. Just an update to let you know that Phil and I are still Alive and Well.

Today marks FOUR YEARS, THREE MONTHS, FOURTEEN DAYS without a Drink. Honestly, I can't say without a Drug because I have been prescribed medications for pain (i.e. Tooth & Surgery) (Doug had a hemorrhoid removed and REALLY didn't like that... The Gastro Doctor is a Jerk and never even set up a follow-up) I did not finish the last of my pain meds and they are sitting on the shelf in my closet.

My Sobriety level is "Stable". That's not to say that there's isn't more that I could do, but that I'm "Stable". I have made an effort to become more selfless and have placed my services, regardless of the task, in the hands of my Church Choir Directors. Having helped organize our Choir Christmas Concert, they have seen the talents and willingness to help that I have to offer. I'm waiting for them to take me up on the offer of some "Free Labor"... but I don't do windows !

If you look to the left side of the plane...

...you will see the beautiful skyline of the Las Vegas Strip. Just to the left of that, there's a little tiny speck, shining in the darkness. In the Grand Scheme of things, it's just one little speck of light, but now that I've pointed it out to you, you notice it more. Look at it and it seems to grow in intensity and now it's noticeable amidst the beautiful backdrop of the Strip. You can't help but see it, now.

THREE YEARS CLEAN & SOBER ! 100%. Not a slip or anything. If you had asked me three years ago, I would have said it was an eternity away. Now that I'm here, damn if it didn't take exactly that long to get here. And you know what? It's not any easier now than it was when I started. Granted, I went through withdrawals in a Coma, so I got to skip that part, and it was 6 months before I could even leave the house by myself, physically, so the temptation wasn't as "In My Face" as most people have. Still, it's the fact that it's a life or death choice for me. I can't afford to take the chance that I have "One Last Drunk" in me. I won't play the Russian Roulette game with that bottle in my hand. But by the Grace of God, I was given a Second Chance on Life, and I'll be Damned if I waste that. With that in my head and in my heart, it's just 362 days till I get another chip... I can wait.

'Tis the Season... Fa-La-La...

(Oh, CRAP ! He's gonna Sing !)

Frosted windowpanes Candles gleaming inside
Painted candy canes on the tree
Santa's on his way He's filled his sleigh with things Things for you and me

It's that time of year, when the world falls in Love
Every Song you hear seems to say,
Merry Christmas, May your New Years Dreams come true
And this song of mine, in three quarter time, wishes you and yours the same thing, too.

It's Christmas time (for Rehearsal Purposes) and my FAVORITE Time of the year. O.K., Call me sappy, but I have always liked Christmas and it's multi-layered message. Aside from it's Liturgical, Religious meanings, which are slightly off in the time of year that they occurred, there's the traditional, Santa, Frosty, Rudolph and the like that the corporate world stuffed down our throats in the 50's, 60's and 70's TV shows. But there's an up-side to that.

We, in America, are suckers for anything with a jingle or catchy tune and even worse when it comes to the feel-good messages and happy endings. Rudolph, Frosty, even the Grinch have that "warm your heart" and "love your fellow man" overtone. Performers like Gene Autry, Burl Ives, Fred Astaire and the unlikely Boris Karloff have become entrenched with their naration of our favorite christmas cartoons, and Natalie Woods in Miracle on 34th Street, and Jimmy Stewart in It's a Wonderful Life embody the goodness in Christmas... and those are just the Classics.

The religious part of Christmas, contraversal as it is, all follows the almost same theme, be it Jewish, Christian, or the other religions, regardless of which time of year they are celebrated or what they're called. At some point, our Maker, in is goodness, chose to send physical form to earth, from the heavens, to show us the path back to the heavens. And, regardless, this is a good thing.

So, Celebrate, as you see fit, but Celebrate, for the Time is New, The New Life Begins, and "... Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good Night !"

A Man had Fallen into a Hole

A man had fallen into a hole, off the beaten path, in the park. Try as he might, he couldn't climb out of the hole. Eventually, someone appeared at the top of the hole. The man was dressed like a Doctor. The man in the hole asked him for help, so the Doctor wrote him a prescription for some Valium, threw it down the hole and left. Later, another man appeared at the top of the hole. This man was dressed as a Clergyman. The man in the hole asked him for help, so the Clergyman wrote some prayers on a slip of paper, threw it down the hole and left. Then another man appeared at the top of the hole. He was holding the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and a Pocket Bible. The man in the hole asked him for help, so the Alcoholic jumped into the hole. "Why did you jump in the hole. Now how are we going to get out." Without hesitation, the Alcoholic said "Between You, Me, God and these Books, we'll figure something out."

Summer Time in Vegas

This is the Sun. It's surface is called the photosphere. The temperature of the photosphere is about 10,000° Fahrenheit. It's core is under its atmosphere. The temperature at the core, or very middle, of the Sun, is about 27 million° Fahrenheit. That’s pretty hot!

Only slightly less hot is the temperature of the inside of my car, when it's 114˚. Trying to turn on the Air Conditioner in my car, has the effect of trying to cool a Hot Tub with an Ice Cube. Don't get me wrong, It makes a valiant effort, but alas, there's little hope. I guess it's time to get the system serviced. If I'm lucky, my brother still has the gauge/hose assembly to do the job. If not, I fear that I will suffer the fate this summer has in store for me and be Medium Rare by September.!

Hi, Everybody. This is Phil, Doug's Liver, with an update on my condition. As you may know, I'm in charge of the filtering, enzymes, and cholesterol in Doug's blood. We had a visit a few weeks ago with the Gastro Dr., Nutritionist, and Dr. Doctor. Everyone wanted to know how well I'm doing my job.

You may have noticed from my picture at the beginning of this Blog, I look a LOT better than I did when we first started writing. We've been working on that for the past 2 and a half years. The latest report tells us the following information.

Overall, I got an A-. This is GREAT. Since I don't know all of the abbreviations (and neither do most of you), I'll touch on the terms I do know. First is my Diabetes. My A1C (Blood Sugar Index ?) went from 7.2 (Diabetic) to 6.4 (Pre, or in this case, Post-Diabetic). Next is my Cholesterol. I'm not even going to try to explain this... My "Bad Cholesterol" is Very Good. My "Good Cholesterol" is Bad (should be 60-ish, mine's 14) Bottom line... Bad Cholesterol is more important, "Eat some Wheat Germ a couple of times a week" Finally, My Liver Enzymes are low, like 15-20%, but considering my level of liver damage, they are within "Expected Levels" and not a Critical Issue.

So, overall, If Doug would just get off the couch and become a little more active, and gain a little more strength and stamina, All would be Right with the World and we could All Live "Happily Ever After."