To Robin, With Love

I have a myspace account and on it there is this girl I knew, named Robin. She used to live across the street from us in Rowland Heights. She used to be my Sister, Wanda's best friend before Wanda got married and moved. Some years later, we began hanging out together and became the Best of Friends. She eventually started dating my High School friend, Dave (That's a WHOLE OTHER STORY). Then we moved here to Las Vegas and Robin and I lost touch. She eventually moved to Indiana, met a guy and got married.

The point of this story takes an unfortunate turn at this point. A little over 2 years ago I got a call from her. My sister had given her my number and she had called me. We talked for almost two hours. We exchanged stories and e-mail addresses and vowed to keep in touch. I was newly out of the hospital from MY ordeal and still recovering so It was really GREAT to hear from her. I even got her Brother and Niece's e-mails so I could write them. It was kind of like "Old Times". Then came the news.

Her Brother called me one day. "Doug... Sit Down." he said. "Robin passed away last night. We don't know the details, but she hadn't been feeling well for a while." I had already been an emotional "train wreck' since my ordeal and now I felt as if I had just been run over by a bus ! Well it turns out that there were no more details... she had some kind of infection and ... just... Died. Needless to say I was numb for quite a while. I don't "DO" funerals. I Just Don't. (Hell, He's having a hard time writing THIS.) Well, I did, and I shouldn't have. I wept ALL DAY, literally. I'm sure I just made it harder for her family.

Now it gets strange. About 6 months ago, her myspace account appeared as "People You Might Know". I'm sure that I removed it from MY account, but it must still be on her Brother's and it's still active. When I saw her name, I did the only LOGICAL thing I could think of... I wrote her. I felt better and a little less sad when I was done.

It happened again 2 days ago and I wrote her again... just as if she were still here. I'm sure she still is, in some way, and reminds me of it occasionally. It's a good thing. In the hustle and bussel of daily life, we all to often forget those who have gone before us. At least I know she'll be there to greet me when I get there.

Dear when you smiled at me,

I heard a melody
It haunted me from the start
Something inside of me
started a symphony
Zing! Went the strings of my heart



'Twas like a breath of spring,
I heard a robin sing
About a nest set apart
All nature seemed to be
in perfect harmony
Zing! Went the strings of my heart.

Nurse Chapel is not on board the Enterprise

"Los Angeles, January 5: Friends, Family and some ‘Star Trek’ cast members gathered at the Forest Lawn Hollywood to bid a final farewell to actress Majel Barrett Roddenberry. The nurse Christine Chapel of the Star Trek television series died of leukemia at her home in Bel Air on Dec. 18. She was 76."

I must take a moment to say a fond Farewell to one of the most influential people in the world of Science Fiction. The wife of the Late Gene Roddenberry as gone to join the list of celebrities to have passed away this year. She was a very influential part of the creation of the Sci-Fi worlds of her husband, as well as the driving force to keep the franchise running after his passing. She was Nurse Chapel in the original "Star Trek" series, Lwaxana Trio, Mother of Deanna Troi in the "Next Generation" series, and, most memorably and least known, the Voice of the "Computer" in all of the variations of the series. Her Legacy in the Sci-Fi world will be forever burned into our memories. May she join her husband, Gene, in Sub-Space Forever!

Happy Christmas

Christmas time is over, the tree is put away, the new clothing has been washed and put into service and the remnants of Christmas meals and cookies are being eaten as fast as possible before they spoil. Old friends have been visited and/or called with the news of their children still fresh in our minds. It's a time for reflection and hope that the New Year will bring Happy Times for all our loved ones.

It was an exhausting ordeal with shopping and cooking and wrapping and trimming and decorating, but now that it's all over, and we go back to the grind of our daily lives... don't you kind of, sort of wish it wasn't over. Life goes on, though, so it's another year older, another year wiser, another year to wish and hope and dream. Happy New Year !

It's Beginning to look A LOT like Christmas...

Today is the 18th of December in Las Vegas and, for some strange reason, there's white, cold "flake" like things falling from the sky. Someone told me it's called "Snow". Well, out here in the desert, among the cactus and yucca trees, this seems odd, and somewhat pretty. Now it's wet, in the mid 30's and there's almost 10 inches of it. Who's gonna clean this up... it's a mess ?

This Is Brilliant !

One of my friends, a Dance Instructor, Daughter of a High School English Teacher, sent me this. It's Brilliant ! The speaker VERY eloquently explains some of the major problems with our education system, and by example, describes most of my closest friends. This is why creative people are so Odd.

Keeping in mind that I only sent this to my "Creative" friends, I hope you will appreciate the compliment of being called "Odd" once you've watched it. It's a 20 minute speaker at a conference called "TED2006" (Technology, Entertainment, Design), an invitation-only event where the world's leading thinkers and doers gather to find inspiration. (I've never heard of it either.) The speaker is very entertaining and well spoken, worthy of 20 minutes of your time. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG9CE55wbtY&eurl=http://bulletins.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=bulletin.read&authorID=90430004&messageID=6233693960&MyTokeniurl=http://i2.ytimg.com/vi/iG9CE55wbtY/hqdefault.jpg&feature=player_embedded

I'M THIS MANY...

I am This Many ! Two full years of sobriety. Something I've been waiting for since I was, oh, One Year Sober ! As many of us would imagine, I was proud of myself. I had accomplished a larger goal than my first one... to become sober. Sobriety does not come easy, or cheap. It takes time, it costs you friendships, it requires a lifestyle change that, for most good drinkers/drug users, is monumental and miraculous. To have removed from yourself a burden and a disease that WILL, without a shadow of a doubt, kill you. It takes the combined support of family, friends, support groups and God to ensure success. Those fortunate enough to have any combination of these have a fighting chance to survive.


Herein lies the rub. The Human Body can only withstand so much abuse from the drugs and alcohol that, even abstinence cannot stave off the damage that's already been done. The physical ravages of these abuses have an uncanny ability to pop up when they are least appreciated, and most vulnerable... like when celebrating your second year of sobriety. On October 31, the day before my anniversary, I had a Doctor's appointment with my favorite Dr. Ryan. It was a standard 3 month check up, with blood workup.


As the Doctor went through a bunch of numbers & figures, saying things like "Well, your bla bla is good, your bla bla level is normal, your bla bla is a little low, but we want that..." then she turned the page. I could see it in her face... She had bad news. "Well, it looks like your Diabetic for real now. Last time your glucose was 108, which is border line, now it's 138. You're going to have to start taking medication and test your blood sugar." It was about this point where my brain went into "Overload Mode" and it all sounded like noises coming from her mouth, but they weren't words... it was just "nperagz poafrg pono dsgfcw lijnsdf". Then she stopped talking for a second or two (or five minutes, who knows) and then she said "Are You O.K. You have that glazed look." I said "Give me a second... that's a lot to take in" She came over and Hugged me, then sat back down. "We have to send you to the dietitian, and get you trained on how to use the meter to test your blood. I'll let her tell you all about it, O.K ?" I said that would be better. I need to catch my breath. Then she turned the page again, and that look again. "Your Hemoglobin level is low... a little too low. I think you might have another intestinal bleed. Let's get you in and checked on. We'll make an appointment with Gastro." (I see them on the 5th)


...AND ALL ON MY SOBRIETY BIRTHDAY ! ! ! NO FAIR ! It's like having a birthday cake and your stinky little brother blows out your candles right before you try. I'm Mad. I'm mad at the inside of me. I mad that I have to pay the consequences for my own actions. It's all MY fault, but I'm still Mad.