I feel a little better now !

It's kind of strange to read something you wrote when you weren't fully there. I guess it's kind of like "Drunk-E-mailing" except this was "In Shock E-mailing".

Obviously, things aren't as bad as my emotions made them out to be. Diabetes is something that is COMPLETELY controllable and, according to my doctor, "If you put in half the effort that you've made to stay sober and drug free, this should be easy".

Now that I have some "non-emotional" perspective on this, it's time to turn the road block "BACK" into a speed bump and move forward again. My doctor gave me 3 months to control this with diet changes. (3 months doesn't sound "Urgent", does it?) I will, therefore, KICK IT'S ASS ! I need to eat more healthy and get more fit before this transplant anyway, so this will force me to do it now.

"Peas Out" and and "Power to the Cauliflower" Y'all !

When Life gives you Lemons, make Lemonade but...

DON'T FORGET THE SUGAR !

My transplant coordinator has done the final work-up to send my "Request for Authorization". I've done all the blood tests, x-rays, (blah, blah. blah). At this point it's basically just some paper pusher checking that all the t's are crossed and i's are dotted. I have fulfilled all of MY requirements. The package is on it's way.

...so, I'm at my regular Doctor's office for my normal 3-month follow-up. She does all of her blood pressure. eyes, ears, nose and throat, breathe iiiiin and out, lay down, squeeze, squeeze, thump, thump, thump (no turn your head and cough... that's a different doctor) We chat a little, she tells me how good I'm doing (and...wait... She didn't tell me how good I'm doing) I look over at her and she has a... not disappointed, but kind of sad look on her face. Suddenly "I" have a kind of frightened feeling, and she tells me "You're Diabetic" Talk about "slap me in the face with a wet fish"

When your world is spinning, it's hard to come up with all the questions, with the exception of "What?" and "Huh, whaa, uummmm... are we sure?" and that part was over. The next part was my doctor saying something like "m0v98a0 oizjfd lmpFUd rei last three blood tests lkmpoi Adf n this is something that we can manage, either with Diet or Medication..." then that part was over. Now it's an appointment with my Nutritionist for the "Diabetic Diet". I've been given three months and then it's medications if I can't manage it with diet.

So wish my vegetable-eating, non-smoking, beef-missing, salt-starved, sugar-free butt "Good Luck" Next thing you know, I'm going to be asked to give up Heroine !

And the beat goes on, and on, and on, and...

Hey, . . . Heart ! It's Me, . . . Phil ! Sorry we haven't spoken in a while. I do get all of your messages... about one every second or so, and I've heard the doctors have been checking on you. Glad to hear you're doing well. Me ? Not so good, I'm afraid. I'm gonna have to leave. I hear my replacement should be along soon, hopefully sometime this year. Just wanted to take a second and thank you for everything you've done, and to tell you I'm sorry for all the stress I put you through. That idiot who lives inside of Skull has really done a number on me. (Brain: I can hear you, you know.) Of course I know... why do you think I said it? It's your fault I'm in this situation in the first place. But, hey, don't get down. You're doing a Great Job at fixing things now. Don't forget that ! We all need to keep doing our jobs so Doug can get better, Right ? Anyway, hang in there everyone, and let's all hope that my replacement shows up soon.